Old friend
by Lena Lawlipop
Summary: In the few days after the kids get home, Shaun is also worried about someone else, someone no one would ever call a child, but who might have been shouldering more than his fair share of nightmares. Shaun might not be a perfect father, nor a perfect friend, but he cares, and he worries. Lending an ear for a much needed conversation is the least he could do for an old friend.


Listen. Listen, I have no excuse, I just hecking love these characters and these books and tbh if anyone at all reads these fics then you bet your ass I'll keep posting them.

Shaun's character is painfully underdeveloped in the books, we don't even know what his powers are, but that won't stop me from thinking he's an awesome character.

And Arkarian, obviously, is the best ever and I, as op, accept no constructive criticism on this point (?)

* * *

Shaun is outside.

It's entirely odd for him to come see me without having been called, and lately that's happened through Ethan rather than a direct call from me. It's much safer that way, too, since I no longer have his phone number, and calling his house would be unwise, considering Laura is often there.

So I don't think it's completely strange for me to be surprised to see him, and still, when I open the door and meet him, it's him who looks most surprised. Perhaps he thought I wouldn't want to see him?

"Shaun," I greet him, and he clears his throat, nodding before stepping inside. I close the entrance behind him, and he struggles to find his words while we walk to the main room.

His mind is agitated, I can tell that much. He's lost practice, but perhaps most importantly, he's never been perfect at shielding his thoughts from me. Ethan had to get it from someone, I tell myself in amused silence. Still, I had forgotten this particularity of his father.

Shaun has grown much since he used to come to see me more often, and I know he's still getting used to seeing me again, looking exactly the same. I know Ethan has had to adjust to it through the years, especially when he had a growth spurt a few years ago, and realized we were almost the same height. I wait while Shaun sorts through his ideas, but he speaks almost immediately.

"You..." he clears his throat again. His thoughts are a little panicked, and I manage to read he wanted to open the conversation with a joke, something along the lines of me being rusty. I offer him a smile. He's not entirely off track, but his distraught thoughts tell me he's here out of genuine concern, and I appreciate it. "You're back in one piece, I see," is what he settles for, in the end. I chuckle.

"Yes. It's all thanks to Isabel, Ethan and Matt," we both hesitate when I mention Matt, but I try not to show it. I'm the one of us who trusts the prophecy, or at least I thought I was, but he just nods.

"I can't believe he still hasn't managed to use his powers and he still survived the Underworld," Shaun murmurs. I shrug.

"We'll have to be patient. Matt didn't enter our world willingly, not exactly. You can't force a person to use their powers, as you well know."

There's a short silence, in which he grimaces and I let him think over my words. He himself hasn't used his powers in years, and I still can't tell if he regrets it. He's only been in two missions since he returned, really, and I can't tell if he's in tune with himself again. He sighs.

"Listen, I... I'm glad to see you're doing alright. I am, really," he insists, as though he thinks I won't believe him, but I do. I smile to try and reassure him, but he isn't finished. "I don't think Ethan's had a chance to visit you since..."

"No," I confirm, and he nods.

"Yes, well, Laura is... Laura is keeping a close eye on him, but I'd expect a visit from him sometime soon. He's been having a lot of nightmares, and I hear Isabel and Matt are too."

"I wouldn't be surprised," I close my eyes, making my stools appear, and sitting down with a sigh. "The Underworld isn't pretty, Shaun, and I can't begin to imagine..."

"I heard from Isabel that you got the worst of it, though," he interrupts me, and his tone startles me. When I look back at him, he looks... he looks _concerned_.

"I'm fine, Shaun," I insist. "More than. Isabel healed everything there was to heal. Not even a split end," I try to joke, picking up a strand of my hair, and he snorts, shaking his head.

"Are you? Because what little I've heard from them, it sounded very nightmare-ish, Arkarian. I've... We haven't talked properly in years, but I can tell you haven't made a new habit of talking about what's bothering you."

"It was," I confirm, frowning. "I appreciate the concern, Shaun, but I'm not a child, whatever I might look like..."

"Which is why I'm asking you," he crosses his arms, arching an eyebrow. "I'm not a child either, not anymore. I know you spend a lot of time with Ethan, and I can't begin to thank you enough for everything you've done for him, when I should have. But Ethan is seventeen, and if that place was _that _traumatizing for him, I wouldn't blame you for not telling them everything."

A piece of the puzzle clicks into place. I'm a little taken aback by his offer, unsure whether or not I should say anything. _Is_ there anything I wouldn't tell them? I draw a blank.

"You know, while I really appreciate the thought, I haven't thought of them as children in a while," I end up saying. "Ethan is very mature for his age, so is Isabel, and to be frank, Matt doesn't speak to me unless it's absolutely necessary, so... yeah. I... I really, _really_ appreciate this, Shaun, but it's fine. No matter what, Ethan and Isabel can take it, and if it's important, they will have to know eventually."

"... I see. Well, that's... good to hear, then."

He smiles, and for the first time since he's arrived, I can tell he relaxes a little in his seat. I smile back.

"I'm glad you came by," I tell him. "I know we haven't been in the best of terms since..." I shrug. "I'm glad you're here."

"Thanks," he sighs. "I did put a lot of the blame on you for a long time, didn't I? I wanted to apologize properly, as well," he says, this time without a hint of hesitation. I shrug.

"I was the easiest target. I was to be Sera's trainer, and then became Ethan's instead. I tried to convince you to stay, when I shouldn't have."

"I didn't even know about Ethan, and still, I... You were right, though, I should have stayed. I should have trusted you."

"Knowing things are prophesized makes me wonder, sometimes, if such a thing as free will exists," I shrug, pushing my hair out of my face. "Should I have tried to convince you to stay? Should _you_ have trusted me? Ethan wouldn't be the person he is if either of us had done something differently, neither would we, ourselves."

"Well, we can't change the past," he sighs, and I can't help but smile. "I'm glad you were there for Ethan when he needed you."

"It was the least I could do," I sigh as well. "I took Ethan as an apprentice partially because you weren't there, and partially to atone for having played a part in your absence. It wasn't until I started to know him that I formed a bond with him and vowed to train him for however long it took."

"He's a good kid, but I bet it wasn't easy to train a child. I tried to raise him as best as I could, but I'm sure a lot of that responsibility also went to you. Again, you have my thanks."

He's not wrong. Ethan used to spend _hours_ every day with me as a child, always asking questions, always eager to learn. When Shaun finally started to get better after the pain of losing Sera subsided, Ethan still managed to sneak off to see me. When he was old enough to go play on his own, he'd always come see me. It only subsided a little when he started school himself, and made some friends. Even then, he would often lie to his parents about meeting a friend and then coming to see me. I consider my words before I answer.

"I never thought about _parenting_ Ethan, as much as keeping him safe. Ethan was an eternally curious child, and he _would_ have hurt someone if he hadn't learned to control his powers. He started developing them impossibly early, Shaun, and only now we know why, but..."

"You know why?" he asks, and I frown.

"How much has Ethan told you about...?" I hesitate, and he breathes, a quiet 'ah...' escaping his lips.

"You mean Sera was behind that, too," he muses, and I shrug.

"Ethan hated the visions, the dreams, his mind wasn't prepared to cope with that. He turned to his powers to try and cope, and while it didn't exactly help, it certainly spurred his training by a considerable margin."

"I see."

"I love Ethan a lot," I tell him, trying to lighten the mood a little. "He was an adorable child, very polite, and always concerned about his parents. He wanted nothing but the best for both you and his mother, and I've been honoured to train him. I'm glad he considers me a friend."

"More like a brother," Shaun laughs, but he doesn't sound sour about it. "Not that I'd blame him. You're damn hard to hate, Arkarian."

"You'll make me blush," I deadpan, and that makes him laugh even more.

"Oh, right! That reminds me," he manages through his laughter, and I feel dread seep into me as his thoughts hint at his next words. "Isabel, huh?"

Well, _that_ makes me blush. I glare at him, but he simply smiles more broadly, a gesture that makes him look impossibly alike to Ethan. I roll my eyes.

"Go on, get it all out."

"Oh, I'm not here to laugh at you," he says, despite the fact that he's still very much smirking. "Just curious, is all. Isabel _is_ only sixteen, after all."

"Weren't we all once," I grumble, and he can't help himself, he laughs again.

"Well, yes, but some of us were sixteen a lot longer ago than others, hm?"

"Like I said, they're not exactly children anymore," I sigh. "Besides, Isabel's ability won't start manifesting until she's eighteen. _And_ I'm not an asshole, Shaun, but thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I know you won't hurt her, I'm not concerned," he shakes his head. "I'm just... again, curious."

"I'd never hurt her, not only because I don't want to, but also because I don't think it's _possible_. Isabel is really good at self-defense."

"Don't deflect the topic, Arkarian," he tilts his head. "Are you scared?"

"Of Isabel, or of your questions?" I reply, acidly, but he's serious when he answers.

"Of hurting her."

I stay quiet, looking down at my own, eternally young, hands. Eventually, I sigh, standing up to pace around.

"I'm not exactly..." I wave my hands around, beginning to think this isn't a conversation I want to have. Shaun waits, though, and I try to look for something to end that sentence with. I fail.

"Boyfriend material?" he finishes for me when it becomes obvious I won't. I glare at him, but shrug.

"Well, if you must put it that way."

"Relax, I'm joking," he rolls his eyes. "The way I see it, you love her, she loves you, and what was it you said earlier about free will and destiny? Ethan told me she's your soulmate."

"She is."

"Well, there you have it, I don't think she has a simple crush on you," he shrugs. "Does she know about that?"

"Um, no, I don't think she does."

"It's okay, I'll let you tell her on your own."

"Thanks."

We stay quiet for a second, and even though I've stopped pacing, I feel like starting again, because Shaun's thoughts are still on the same topic, which doesn't do much for my nerves.

"But there's more than that, isn't there?" he murmurs, and I hate that he's right. "Isabel has chosen an entire eternity with you over her family and friends, and I don't think she's chosen easily. Are you worried that she will regret it?"

"Yes," I answer simply, before I can talk myself out of it. Shaun nods. "I mean, she's sixteen, Shaun, and I'm not boyfriend material, remember?"

"Ok, so at this point I don't think I want to know if you've never had a girlfriend before," he says, arching his eyebrows in a teasing manner that, again, reminds me of his son. "But I don't know what's so off-putting about you that you think your own _soulmate_ won't want to stay by your side." He stops, there's a silence, and then he adds. "Also, please never say the words 'boyfriend material' ever again. It just sounds... no. Don't. You don't get that privilege. You're too old for that."

I recognize the attempt at a joke, but I simply shrug, and he sighs.

"That's not all of it, is it?" he frowns a little. "I admit, I'm lost. I've never known you to be afraid of anything, and I'm drawing a blank," he says, and I decide to sit down before I start pacing again. I know tiptoeing around the topic won't help, and, well, Shaun _is_ married... If I wanted to talk about this to anybody, might as well be him.

"I'm not so much afraid as... well, apprehensive, perhaps is the word. I'm looking forward to the future, maybe, but I'm also... adjusting. Yeah, that's it," I push my hair behind my ears, and Shaun simply listens. "I am somewhat afraid she'll regret it, but mostly I'm just thrown off by how... how..."

"How?"

"How _sudden_, it's been, you know? I'm trained not to form deep bonds with people, both for missions, and for my sanity. This? This wasn't... I didn't..." Shaun smiles, and I regret ever saying anything. It's infuriating. He's not seeing the point, not really, and I sigh. "Oh, never mind."

"Hey, now," he chuckles. "I'm not laughing at you! I'm just happy you've found someone, Arkarian, it sounds really lonely to be you."

"Well, that's the thing," I say, almost against my better judgement. I don't know if I want to continue the conversation, considering my face feels hot enough to give me a headache. "I was used to that. It would have been way more miserable if I wasn't."

"Had you ever been in love before?" he asks, like it's no big deal, but he doesn't back off when I glare at him.

"I thought you didn't want to know," I answer eventually, and he fixes me with a patient look that I'm not really used to be on the receiving end of. "If you must know," I relent, starting to be annoyed at the existence of the entire conversation, "I have. Or, I thought I had. What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's just... well, in my limited experience, oh sage immortal, falling in love is always really unexpected, right? All... suddenly they _exist_ in a different way that everyone else does, and all is good in the world when they're around, and all that." He gesticulates broadly with his hands, and I cross my arms over my chest.

"Yes, and?"

"Well, that sounds like what you're describing, and to be frank, it's cute. I'm happy for you," he insists, which does _nothing_ for my growing embarrassment.

"Thanks, I think."

"Adjusting is a good word for it," he continues, his eyes not on me for a moment. I can't piece his thoughts together, but I don't try too hard. I myself am distracted. "It's like life changes pace, and you have to keep up, and suddenly nothing is where it used to be."

"A little, yes."

"I imagine recent developments haven't been easy on you, either," he grimaces. "Ethan told me about the trial. Bullshit, if you ask me, but that's the Immortal for you, I suppose..."

"I'm not _surprised_, but trust me, I was _very_ angry," I huff, shaking my head. "I had never been so angry at him before, and the man trained me for two centuries."

"Wow," he muses, with the kind of tone that implies he knows I'm not finished. I'm not sure I appreciate this, but I try to explain myself anyway. Maybe getting it all out will be a good thing, if he's willing to listen.

"What has life been like without using your powers, Shaun?" I ask, startling him. He frowns. "I'm getting to a point," I assure him, before he can protest.

"Sluggish, but I've done ok for myself. It wasn't _that_ bad once I got used to it, but I'm glad to be back. Why?"

"Would you give any of them up? Ever? Permanently?"

"Wha— no, of course not. They're a part of me," he tilts his head. "What are you getting at?"

"I would have, you know. Given up agelessness forever. I would have... Shaun, it scares me to think it even, but I think I would have tried to follow her, if my father had decided to kill her," I confess, but when I look up to him, I realize I've lost him. He closes his eyes, shaking his head slowly.

"Ok, hold up. Your father?" he starts.

"Lorian," I confirm, and he nods.

"Well, I'd say 'what a surprise' but... Anyway. Kill her?"

"I thought Ethan told you about her trial."

"He said she was told she'd be punished, but death? She's only sixteen!"

"She did go against a direct order, and threatened to do it all over again to save me," I say, and I think I manage to do so without blushing. Too much, anyway. Shaun snorts.

"Yeah, because she's sixteen and in love," he shrugs. "Death? Come on, what is this, the middle ages?"

"Well, it is what it is."

"And also, what's that about giving up your ability?" he continues, dismissing his own incredulity. I sigh.

"I'm beginning to think it was Ethan who didn't think you'd take the news well, and not the other way around."

"Clearly," he grumbles.

"I asked the Immortal to spare Isabel, and he refused to listen to me. It would have been a lot simpler to tell me his plan? Yes. But, like you said, that's Lorian for you," he scoffs, and I shrug. "So I asked him to take my ability away, instead, to be with her."

"Excuse me, you did _what_?"

I can't help but laugh. He sighs.

"You're mad. If you thought he was going to kill her..."

"I wasn't thinking straight, that's why," I look away. "I just... I couldn't think of it, I couldn't think of her being gone, and I..."

"What would you have done if he'd agreed?"

"Live a normal life with her, like everyone else," I frown. "Obviously."

"No, I mean... what if he'd taken your ability but also killed her?"

"Did you not hear me earlier? I thought..." I shake my head. "I don't think I ever really planned things through, but I thought... I don't think I want to live in a world without her, Shaun, and if that doesn't sound scary to you, well, it's enough for _me_."

"Yeah, I can see why you'd say that," he muses, and when I look at him he seems impressed. "Does Isabel know any of this?"

"Uh, no?" he laughs at my sarcasm, and I sigh, shaking my head. "She knows I would have given up my ability, yes. Does she know I felt like throwing myself at the Immortal's throat for _hours_ before he announced it was all planned from the beginning? No. No, not really, I didn't think to mention that in the approximately three minutes I had to talk to her before she went home."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound like pleasant conversation," he agrees.

"Right."

"Adjusting sounds like something you're going to need to work on, then," he grimaces. "Then again, it's not like these are normal circumstances. Give it time to smooth over, Arkarian."

"I know, I will, it's just... You know, different," I sigh. "It reminded me of when the mission with Marduke took place, you know? I was coordinating that mission, but I couldn't take you back until it was done, and I remember watching with horror as he..." I shiver. "I didn't understand then."

"I don't understand even now, to be frank with you," he says, sympathetically. "There are lines that aren't meant to be crossed."

"But..."

"I can't begin to imagine what it's like, having a soulmate, knowing for certain they are _the one_," Shaun interrupts me, contemplative. "But I know one thing. No matter how much of a soulmate they were, Marduke was wrong that time. What he did was unforgivable, and he was rightly punished for it."

"That woman wasn't his soulmate," I tell him, wondering if Ethan did tell him anything after all. "Marduke is alive again, he's been brought back from the Middle Realm. Lathenia brought him back."

Shaun doesn't answer for a long time, but eventually he bursts out laughing, startling me.

"Man. The guy can't catch a break, huh? He just refuses to stop being a nuisance."

"Wait until you see him again," I add jokingly. "He's become a real pig, or something like it anyway."

If I had ever expected the topic of his former teammate to be light-hearted, I certainly wouldn't have thought it would be in the middle of a conversation about my love life. Shaun laughs some more, though, and apparently drops the topic. I think I let out a sigh of relief.

"I hope the kids are doing alright," he says, after a few moments of silence. I look up at him again.

"Why?"

"You know, the Underworld trip, and all that," he clarifies, and I nod. "Ethan has been having a lot of nightmares, I can hear him pacing his room at night. I think he's waiting until Laura isn't so scared, and I appreciate it. I'm not dumb, if he has to get something off his chest he'll come see you, not me," he adds, and he doesn't quite sound bitter. Perhaps disappointed, but not bitter. I offer him a smile.

"Ethan doesn't hate you, Shaun. He appreciates what you've tried to do for him, even if he doesn't agree with it."

"He's said as much," he admits, and I'm briefly proud of Ethan for talking to his father about it. It's been hard for them both, after the initial glee of being together in the Guard. "Even so, it's... well, it is what it is," he shakes his head.

"I'll be here for him if he needs me," I assure him, and he smiles.

"I know. You always are here for us when we need you. That's why we were all so taken aback when the Immortal decided against a rescue mission... where would the Guard be without you?"

"Still here," I chuckle. "But I like to think you all would miss me, from time to time."

Shaun shakes his head, punching my shoulder reproachingly.

"I imagine you already know this, but for those of us who rarely get to see the tribunal and the immortal, you _are_ the Guard, you know? Like a personification of everything we work for, a common point, like the center piece of the puzzle, or a leader to look up to. If you were gone..." his voice catches, and he doesn't meet my eye when he next speaks. "It would be like losing a lot more than just our best Named, Arkarian."

It's something Ethan thinks about every now and then, even Isabel used to think about me like that when she still wasn't shielding her thoughts, but it's never something they said to me. To have it in so many words makes it somewhat more real, and I feel a jab of almost painful affection. I think my face heats up again, and I look away, suddenly overcome.

"Noted," I murmur, and Shaun chuckles, but doesn't call me out on it.

"I probably should get going. Laura will start to worry if I come back too late," he says softly, standing up. I nod, but I don't find my words quickly enough. He continues, with a knowing smile. "Welcome back to the land of the living, and all that, Arkarian. It's been bloody terrible up here without you."

"I... thanks..." I clear my throat, taken by surprise by the all the sudden appreciation and affection that I hear, not only in his words but in his thoughts. Not what I would have expected from Shaun of all people, not that I'm complaining. I shake myself, standing up to offer him a handshake. "Thanks for coming by. It's been great, we haven't had a chance to talk in a while."

"I'll try to come by more often, when Laura starts to get better. I'm sure things are going to start looking up for her," he says.

He takes my hand, but pulls me closer anyway for a short hug, a pat on my shoulder. He's still smiling when he draws back.

"See you around, Arkarian."

"Of course, anytime."

He leaves quickly, and I open the door for him from the octagonal room. I had expected to hear from Ethan and Isabel, perhaps even from Matt, and certainly I'd had quite a welcome home moment with the members of the tribunal, but Shaun's visit has been unexpected. Not unwelcome, just unexpected.

It's always been difficult for me to form meaningful bonds with the people around me, it comes with being ageless. I had been rather annoyed at Shaun once for choosing to leave the Guard, but I had never blamed him after what happened to Sera... I had felt slightly betrayed, yes, after having helped him through and after his battle with Marduke, but I hadn't realized just how deep our bond had become through that experience. I certainly hadn't expected him to still think that highly of me. Clearly, I had been wrong.

As part of my training, I had been taught to keep people at arm's length, be pleasant and helpful, guide them through their missions, but never get too close. It crosses my mind that I should be worried that Shaun, then, seems to care much more about me than I could have predicted. Despite my best judgement, however, that day I leave my chambers feeling oddly warm.

The prophecy isn't a magical solution to every problem, but I'm willing to chuck all blame to it for this particular instance. Surely, if I wasn't meant to befriend the people I'm prophesized to battle along with, this wouldn't be happening. Surely, I can't be punished for having a friend.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my story :D

If you did, please consider leaving a comment or favs, they're greatly appreciated! If you want to yell with me and share more headcanons for these dorks, you can PM me, find me at my tumblr (kyokotsukuyomi) or the comments section down below. Don't be shy!

Love,

~Lena


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